#44 ~ What are you going to do?

The Fashion
We tend to over-do it sometimes. We push limits instead of simplifying the common goal. Why not just strip it down and give way to the vanity of ourselves?

Festival of Sin opens today at 5pmSLT

Skin: .::[ Felony ]::. Lust ~ Light ~ C (Festival of SIn)

Shape: My own

Make-Up: Cheap Makeup - Tableau Lashes FREE

Make-Up: [mock] Darkened Mood Garnets Makeover

Hair: [Raspberry Aristocrat] Dulciana Hair - Red Passion

Eyes: .ID. January Gift / Deep Amber

Eyes: A:S:S deLuxe - Vain to the bone (eye) (Festival of Sin)

Eyelashes: Mynerva

Eyelashes: .ploom. Lashes 6

Collar: A:S:S deLuxe - Medusea (dark) (Festival of Sin)

Mirror: estetica: vanity - mirror, mirror (Festival of Sin)

Bracelets: Zaara : Rupa kada & Eila kada (Group Gift)

Poses: aDORKable, GLITTERATI, estetica

Location: The Eros Social Club

Listening: Madonna "Justify My Love"

#36 ~ Promise

The Real
A lot of time I procrastinate. I realize this isn't a good thing, and I know I shouldn't. That there are so many hours in the day. Days in the week. Weeks in the month, before the end in which deadlines will come and those days that happen and I need to focus with those deadlines...it's just at an end. But maybe one cannot come out of their procrastination. Maybe this is what and who they are. They are forever caught in this little bit of procrastination cycle that is bleating like forever baby sheep, wanting to grow out of it, but never really doing so.

You would think, for a woman who has done and did a few things, that this would be something that I could get by and move on from, but it's embedded into my psyche it seems. As much as I tell myself that I will change for the better and do this or that, I can't seem to pick up the motivation of that particular thing and push the procrastination effect away from me. I would hope that one day - I could just wake up and it would have left, leaving the front door open in its wake, but it's still lingering in the hallway, bags packed - almost like it's wanting me to beg for it to stay.

I wish I had the strength to yell and scream for it to go. Instead, I just walk back into my bedroom and close the door.

The Fashion

Skin: -tb- Gatcha Skin - Date Night (Season's Gatcha - Winter)

Shape: My own

Make-Up: Cheap Makeup - Tableau Lashes FREE

Make-Up: cheLLe (eyeliner) EyePop Blueberry

Hair: [Shag] - Your Wish - Eve (Project Themeory)

Eyes: :[Plastik]: Vae Collection - Senn

Eyelashes: .ploom. Lashes 6

Dress: [Aura] Balloon Dress - Leopard Blue - *Mesh* (Valentine Gatcha - Shopping Cart Disco)

Pants: (MIlk Motion) My Boyfriend Jeans (Old FLF)

Scarf: -paper.doll- Leopard - January Gift (old)

Shoes: R2 " Kanaloa Elua - Sky *Mesh* (Collabor88)

Pose: GLITTERATI

Location: Whisky a Go Go

Listening: Ciara "Promise" 

#32 ~ You know how I feel....

The Fashion
This week's color is Alice Blue over on Luna's blog.

I wonder how many will do Alice in Wonderland? Thought about it, but then with all the photos going about on Flickr and Plurk of people's undies...well, I had to toss mine in.

Skin: .::Mother Goose's::. Bomi Teeth - *Freebie - 1L*
Shape: My own
Hair: ::Exile:: Josie - Rust (TDR)
Eyes: [:T:] gem eyes :: sapphire
Eyelashes: .ploom. Lashes 6
Nails: * Rezlpsa Loc * ~ Honeysuckle Pink Nails

Shirt: *Fishy Strawberry* Faux Corset Sequins Tee - Blue (TDR)
Panties: Black&Blue Outfitters Snowflake Chonies (Old hunt gift)
Shoes: *Kookie* Snugs - Dirty Ash (Group Gift)

Piano: LISP - Piano Smooth Wood - Ash (C88)
Chair: LISP - Snowflake Tag Chair - White
Pose: GLITTERATI
Location: My home
Listening: Michael Buble "Feeling Good"

#30 ~ Lucky to be here...

The Fashion
One place I always fall back on for pictures is [WOS] Missing Mile Dark Rural Community - This is your Life! on the Soap Sim. It's an open RP Sim to all who would love to go and just roleplay - they welcome all forms of life too! When landing in, you're given a set of rules (just like on any RP sim) and from there, you can go about and immerse yourself into the rural life of this small town.

Skin: -Glam Affair- Nina (With Love Hunt *old)

Shape: My Own

Make-Up: Cheap Makeup - Tableau Lashes FREE

Make-Up: cheLLe (eyeliner) EyePop Grape

Hair: [e] Comfort - Brown 11  *VIP Collection*

Eyes: .ID. December Gift - Blue Green

Eyelashes: Mynerva

Top: The Secret Store - Empire Blouse - Liberty *MESH* (NEW!)

Pants: The Secret Store - Flared Pants - Caramel

Shoes: ::HH:: Hucci D'Ann Pump - Coral Limited Edition *Group Gift*

Necklace: *League* Double Stranded Soft Pearl Necklace

Glasses: INSOLENCE - Danielle Black Glasses

Purse: PRISS - Ereenu Oversized Clutch - Pink

Pose: GLITTERATI

Location: The Missing Mile Dark Rural Community

Listening: Adele "Chasing Pavements"

#19 ~ And you said goodbye..could you see my tears?

The Fashion 
When thinking of something for the upcoming color...I finally realized that I didn't want to follow just on the footsteps of what I thought others might just do. I have the Chain and Vine dress in my inventory. I do have the new coldLogic dress as well. Both group gifts that would fit perfect for this week's Color Challenge color of Iron on Luna's blog. But instead, I stepped away and dug down a bit deeper and pulled out something that I had only worn once and wanted to wear again. This shift dress from {So Many Styles}, just a store that I've always loved to go to.

Skin: [CIA] Sofia skin NATURAL - Red Lips - Freckles (With Love Hunt)

Shape: My own

Make-Up: RAW HOUSE::: Kill Count Tears

Hair: [Shag] Black Tie Affair - Starlight

Eyes: :[P]:-Aleria Collection/Hypnotique - Dream

Eyelashes: Mynerva

Dress: {SMS} Asy Tunic Grey

Socks: Maitreya Moxie Over-Knee Socks - Mocha

Shoes: [ SAKIDE ] Latex Rubber Pumps - Gold (Depraved Christmas Hunt)

Scarf: Zaara - Kashish Scarf (FLF)

Gloves: Izzie's - Leather Gloves - Rust

Bag: Maitreya Leather Satchel - Mustard *MESH* (FLF)

Earrings: .( bewildebeest ). Alma Earrings - Gold - Mozambique Garnet (Store Closing)

Pose: GLITTERATI

Location: Cupcake Sim

Listening: Madonna "Rain"

#14 ~ She only comes out at night...

The Real
A while ago - that is, a few years back, I used to write a lot. When I would write, it would be mostly poetry. Maybe a few words of prose, a couple short stories, and now and then a keepsake of memories laid out on a notebook to which words would tumble out in such a way that they would sound like whimsical music to the ears.

Even now, those words tremble like tiny notes in the breeze.

Then I stopped writing.

I'm not sure why I did. But when I stopped, I had no outlet. For a while I couldn't decide what to do with myself. Then while I was thinking and doing my own thing I came upon role-playing in Second Life. Within role-playing I was able to story tell. I was able to capture a story and tell it through my eyes.

But it also went beyond. I could create a character.

Those characters...could be anyone...and because they could be anyone, it allowed me to be open with myself and do things that would be unspeakable. To get down and dirty: sex, drugs, and rock & roll. That's what role-play is about - story telling. Whether you are doing it within a post apoc sim, a gorean sim, a steampunk sim, or a dirty urban city sim - it's story telling.

It keeps my fingers nimble and my mind creative.

The Paradise
We are moving along. Slowly but surely, Paradise Lost is gradually getting people and stories. It's taking it's time but we're getting people.

The Fashion
The Season's Gatcha - Winter has opened up. I themed some of my things around an idea of what someone in my sim would wear...a girl caught on her way back to the flophouse in the early morning after a night of work...

Skin: al vulo - frida *passion tan *Group Gift*

Shape: My own

Make-Up: [mock] Darkened  Mood Garnets Makeover

Hair: Tiny Bird - Love You More - Deep Warm Black (FLF)

Eyes: .ID. December Group Gift / Brown

Eyelashes: Mynerva

Shirt: Lark - Enten Shirt - Pirouzeh (Seasons Gatcha Winter)

Skirt: R.icielli - ANTO II highwaisted skirt / cherry *Winter Hunt*

Shoes: Ingenue ::Abrial Boot:: French Vanilla (Seasons Gatcha Winter)

Earrings: [ glow ] studio - Huge pearl Drop earrings (russet silver) (Seasons Gatcha Winter)

Ring: PIDIDDLE - Gawdy Ring - Citrine (Seasons Gatcha Winter)

Bag: Tee*fy Mini Crossbody Bag (Used Leather Red) (Seasons Gatcha Winter)

Pose: GLITERRATI

Location: Cassava Island

Listening: Hall and Oates "Maneater"

#13 The Learning Garden

The Real (circa 2007)

I've forever been a person, lost in the wonderment of my own childish ways. Gathered by the ever growing number of people that come into my life, I can only grasp so much from them the knowledge that they bestow.

With each bit, I cradle in my hands, like buds of spring flowers, ready to bloom for all to see. But mine seem to lay bare, naked without sun. They thirst for water, begging for a fulfillment that I may not reach.

I would be so careless to drop them, search out more that would bloom, or stuff them in my pockets for later use. I would love to scatter them and watch them flower, but for what? Knowledge that I may not use, or could not? I may not understand. I am a bit slow in a lot of things, my grasp of detail not precise and I cannot debate to save my life.

But then again, useless knowledge could come in handy. The ideas thrown around in my mind, bounce like rubber balls that we played with as children. Ideas that only I could probably understand, and would in turn try to make you understand. It would sound like garbled mess, but after my understanding, you would probably see a different me.

Every word that I listen to I take in. My mind can only take so much before it's been overloaded and processed. I would so merrily hop away, playing the lost girl forever in her garden, but to tend the garden, one needs to know how to keep it from growing wild. So with each brand new idea, I tend to the blooms, seeding the ground with the buds that I've been giving.

I have no green thumb.

Lost words tend to spring up and jumbled weeds take over most times. I work, pulling the uselessness from the ground, allowing the buds that have bloomed to breathe in. These I want to understand. These I want to learn from, the ones that blossom so fully for me. Take me for granted, this is how I try. This is not me playing the imbecile it's only me realizing that I cannot understand all. In actuality, are we suppose to know all?

Skin: MOJO - MARAIA - Group Gift *Christmas*

Shape: My Own

Make-Up: R.icielli - Freckles 1

Eyes: :[Plastik]:-Haunt Collection-Hera's Gold (FLF)
Hair: LekLuka - AWE hair "Marilyn" *Group Gift*

Shirt: The Sea Hole - Minna Blouse - Sunbeam (C88)

Skirt: The Sea Hole - Heron Skirt - Sunbeam (C88)

Boots: ~gateau~ drover boot - sandstone

Necklace: (Caroline's Jewelry) Owl Necklace

Pose: GLITTERATI

Location: Lula

Listening: Stevie Nicks "Witchy Woman"

#9 ~ My world for a song...

The Real

I want to believe in fairy tales. I want to believe that there is something out there to make this world…a little bit better.

So where do we find it?

Do we latch on to delusions of things? Conjure up mysteries and mayhem to excite us? Fabricate a person to worship and rejoice in, and make others believe?

Tell me why you follow down the path you’ve chosen. Was it instilled in you when growing up? Did you find your belief, your faith, or your non-existent feelings on your own?

How do you decide if you’re going to be a good person, or a person who cares only for themselves?

I want to believe in fairy tales. To blind my eyes with dreams of niceties, and fellow man. To drink heartily from the cup of life and not let those that spout hatred and perform atrocities bother my soul.

But as an adult, I’m no longer allowed to believe in fairy tales. I’m no longer allowed to believe that peace will reign one day. That our Earth will stop weeping. That our children, and our future generations will see the good that we have sowed, instead of the bad.

If I am allowed to believe, and within, belief in myself, then I won’t worry about the persecution that may come from what I chose to follow.

I’m following a fairy tale.

The Paradise

We opened today. Good turn out. A little drama. "Oh I can't play here because so and so plays here and she's a whore." Uh...what? Hello? Kettle calling one black? We're all whores. Welcome to Second Life. Whore is an everyday word. Get used to it.

The Fashion

I've been reading a lot of J.D. Robb. Eve. Inspired.

Skin: :[Plastik]:-Aleria - Sandcastle-Flush (FLF)

Shape: My Own

Make-Up: R.icielli - Freckles 1

Hair: ::Exile:: Betty Lou - Midnight (Purple bow) (TDR)

Eyes: :[Plastik]:-Haunt Collection - Hera's Gold (FLF)

Jacket: .:A&M:. Punk Baby Outfit Leather Jacket

Shirt: -Tres Blah- C88 Graphic Tee - Leopard Cross (C88)

Pants: *Fishy Strawberry* Moto Pants Beige (Fashionably Late)

Shoes: [PM] Luna Leopard *MESH* (Group Gift)

Glasses: Alphavillain - Mathletics Sunglasses (large)

Earrings: [Aura] - Phosphorus - Club Hoops - Violet (Four Corners Event)

Parasol: The Sea Hole - Heron Parasol - Sunbeam

Gun: Titan Industries 92FS Beretta

Pose: GLITTERATI & Long Awkward Pose

Location: Sick

Listening: The Police "Murder By Numbers"

#8 ~ Isabella Maria Radcliff

The Fashion


For this little challenge: Coral.

Skin: -Glam Affair- Monica Tan TRD 28
Shape: My own
Make-Up: cheLLe (eyeliner) EyePop Lime
Make-Up: *BOOM* Hard Candy - Pink Sugar
Hair: Raspberry Aristocrat - Dulciana - Brown Bittersweet
Eyes: .ID. December Gift / BlueGreen
Eyelashes: Mynerva

Top: JANE - Femme.lace Cami - Pink Blush
Skirt: JANE - Maxi Skirt - Lillith - Blush (fair) *MESH*
Shoes: Maitreya Gold * YaXkin Cocoa Sandals
Earrings: [Aura] Down Pour - Melon *VIP Group Gift*
Necklace: MIEL - UVA - Coral *Group Gift*

Pose: GLITTERATI
Location: The Dreamer's Islands
Listening: Silence (It's Sunday Morning)

The Paradise

Maybe what should be noticed about Isabella Maria Radcliff is the intensity of her eyes. Her mother always said that her eyes could bring down the most worthiest of opponents if ever in a cat fight. Maybe it was true, but the woman that would step onto the island not even a few months after her thirty-second birthday hadn’t even thought of those words in years.

Isa was born to Paula Ora Carlona, a Cassava native and John Michael Radcliff, a British Navy Captain,  on June 7^th, 1979. Life on Cassava was a child’s playground – the beach, the sun and the wild. War, chaos and hunger lingered in the air but for a child, she would ignore as much as she could, or as much as her mother would hide it from her. Even when those in the cantina would shout and argue about the El Generale and his men, the dissatisfaction of the people. No money. No food. Where was her father?

At the age of ten, she was shipped off to London to live with her father and stepmother for each school year, as stated in the divorce papers signed by both parents during the joint custody hearings. Her summers would be spent upon the Cassava Island during the first couple years, but as she grew older, she came home less often, opting to spend her summers in the English countryside, or to travel off to France or to America. She had the advantages she knew others did not have, so she was bound to take them – why not. Who wanted to go back to a place that was so distraught and torn?

Upon graduating from high school, Isa decided to stay on, attending the London College of Fashion. Each and every semester, her excuses would get more elaborate on not wanting to return to the island, much to her mother’s dismay – and even to her own father’s. It was like she shunned the overall entity that was her culture. By the age of twenty-four, Isa finally returned to Cassava, only because her grandfather – her mother’s father – had passed away, and her mother had now been handed the reigns of the family business.

Many years would pass by that time. Isa’s life would be what she deemed she wanted, buying textiles and fabrics for the fashion houses in London. The world she knew in Cassava would only exist in letters she would receive from her mother, which she would now and then respond to around the holidays, sending money and gifts in exchange for her absences. It wasn’t until the day her father showed up at her flat that rainy Sunday afternoon to tell her…

…which landed her back at the door of the cantina, her mother – all but gone.

#4 ~ Vacation can't last forever...

The Real
... The desire to write tonight is not there. Maybe I should try to write in the morning. Or afternoon. I think I'm just too frustrated.

The Paradise
Five more days. So much to do.

The Fashion
Christmas gift from Kris. About time I get to wear some swimwear...

Skin: -Glam Affair- Layla Light - tropicana BL *TDR*

Make-UP: =[Pom.Pon]= Beauty-Spot-Lip-Tattoo

Make-Up: cheLLe - (eyeliner) EyePop Tangerine

Make-Up: Grixdale - Body Shoppe - Powder - Blush (20%)

Make-Up: -Glam Affair- Tattoo Layer 01

Hair: >TRUTH< Kalia Streaked - Swedish

Bikini: LeeZu~ - Boho Bikini - Yellow

Shoes: [Gos] Espadrilles - In Bloom

Bag: Tres Blah Group Gift

Sunglasses: Apple May Designs - Big Shades (With Love Hunt)

Pose: Olive Juice & GLITTERATI

Location: Cassava Island

Listening: Pasty Cline "Crazy"

#2 ~ You don't know jack...

The Real
As the day begun, I could only think that my to do list was something I needed to start doing. The first being was to actually get up. Second, I was to actually get on the ball and do SOMETHING. It's strange being without work. Being without a job. I haven't been jobless for a very long time, and to be without one, especially for the type of person I am, gives me a feeling that my self worth isn't fulfilled.

Now I did have a job. But when I finally decided to go back to school (grad school that is) there was many things that I needed to do and one of those things was actually leaving the job I was currently at. I was going to be moving out of state, moving back in with the rents, de-cluttering my life, basically tossing my whole world into a massive upheaval of ...well a whirl wind.

So now I play the job hunting game.

I wish I could say that the feeling was easy, or at least - exciting, but in a way, it's not. It's nerve racking. You don't want to settle for less, but you're dismayed due to the extensive amount of qualifications 'needed' for a job. You must have this, or this much experience, or this much schooling. I know it's part of the reason why I'm going back to school. Even if I'm now eight months off my schedule. But, hey - it will save me $20,000. I will take it. Still, it's a bit heartbreaking, knowing you have so much knowledge sitting inside, and years of experience, yet there might be a few things you lack. Should that be tossed out? I'm not sure...

The Paradise
We are a week out from the grand opening of the sim. As Kris is finishing the build, the rest of us are putting on the finishing touches, well trying.

Working on a sim is not easy. It's a collaboration of people's ideas and thoughts. It's our dreams brought to fruition. Of course, we have our bumps and grinds, but what sim doesn't?

I've been itching to role-play for a little over two months now. Ever since Perdition closed, I haven't really been able to find a sim that has made me feel as comfortable to actually story-tell again, and because I now have this vision in my head of who my character is for Paradise Lost and Isa is ready to come out and play.

As for the next week: recruitment, building, NPC stories, more stories for the archives. I have to still write up the story for the Blue Lotus. We need a staff meeting. That will be done through Skype. All five of us are scattered throughout the world: me in Memphis, one in Canada, another on the west coast, one in England, and on in UAE. We are amazing.

The Fashion
It's a burning desire, but since the sim will open my shopping will have to slow...

Skin: :Plastik: Aleksandra - Ginger
Shape: My own
Make-Up: Cheap Makeup - Tableau Lashes *FREE Gift*
Make-Up: Cheap Makeup - Miss Priss Lipgloss 1 (clear)
Hair: ::Exile:: Veronique - Autumn/Fawn *Group Gift*
Eyes: Poetic Colors - Summer Wheat - Special Hunt Freebie
Tattoo: :Plastik: Feathers - worn

Sweater: [ SAKIDE ] Posh Winter White *With Love Hunt*
Skirt: [Aura] Bullet Proof - Ruffled Pencil Skirt - Skull - Small (MESH)
Boots: FIR & MNA The Orann Boots - Brown *Last FLF*
Bag: PRISS - Lang Suede Satchel - Dark Brown *Group Gift*

Pose: GLITTERATI
Location: Great Eagle
Listening: Alice in Chains " Man in the Box"

#1 ~ The next morning...

...after all the champagne has been consumed, we begin our new year. It's time for a new beginning, a new chance, a time to shake the old and grab a new glass. Within this moment we all take a mental break and think what would make us better:

- lose weight
- don't drink too much
- stop smoking
- be better people
- get that job!
- fall in love

... and so much more.

I think after many failures of past resolutions that for once, I need the smaller day to day ones. For this - this will be a 365.

Real life. Second Life. Media. Social. All the in between.

Luna Jubilee's 52 Weeks of Color Challenge: Champagne

Skin: -Glam Affair- Jadis - Natural B - TDR # 24
Shape: My own
Make-Up: [mock] Darkened Mood Garnets
Hair: [Shag] Pretty Please - Scarlet *Group Gift 2011*
Eyes: .ID. December Gift / BlueGreen
Eyelashes: Mynerva

Top: Tee*fy Cutout Dress Nude 5 *Last FLF*
Skirt: R.icielli - BEATRIZ Sequined miniskirt / gold - TDR
Heels: R.icielli - CARMELIA Pumps / Crema - TDR
Jewelry: [ glow ] studio - Glossy Heart Set *With Love Hunt*

Pose: GLITTERATI & K** Stand Poses
Location: Cassava Island
Listening: Imogen Heap "Goodnight and Go"

When he calls...

I enjoy speaking with him on the phone. It's the little bit that counts. I know we only speak every few weeks, even before, when it used to be every few days, but still - even if he is across the pond, our lives still come together and we make the effort to call one another to touch base. To touch each others lives. I can still feel his fingers upon my face. It's the caring that I enjoy...its what makes it real.

Skin: Grixdale - Teagan - Mint - Draft *Retired*

Make-Up: [Misc. Inc.] I Love Liner - Diligence 1

Make-Up: [PXL] Teeth Bracers

Hair: Magika [Hair] Safe - Brown

Sweater: =Zenith= Ball Ball Sweater Jacket Golden (With Love Hunt)

Sweater: *Fishy Strawberry* Knit Sweater Powder

Skirt: Armidi Limited Classic A001 Jean Skirt Dirty

Tights: JANE lil piggies tights.fuzzy white fawn

Boots: {mon tissu} Heathrow Boots - Ash *Mesh*

Gloves: d.select wool gloves - Winter pattern white (With Love Hunt)

Barrette: ::Happy Finds:: Rose Pink Hair Pin

Pose: GLITTERATI

Location: Three Moons Village

Listening: Underworld "Dirty"

Studying with Santa...

The GRE book sits open..the GMAIL calendar display is idle on my screen...upon screen...upon screen. I should get myself in order, but my mind is a mash of mix emotions that I can't even get intuned. Intuned. *checks to see* Entuned...no...intune...oh fuck it. Spelling has never been my best. Grammatical errors abound! That's what my marketing research professor stated over the semester. Great works - the discussions were wonderful, but the slight grammar errors. I write quite well, he said.

I'm trying hard to think. I really am. Rock bottom hurts. More so lately, cause I'm not sure where I am going with a lot of things. It's the "woe is me" angle I'm guessing. Back during the reign of MySpace, blogging used to be such an outlet that I could just write to my hearts content and people would read and people would comment and we'd have a little ball and that's where we'd go to get our woes and whatnots out. Now I wonder who will read this modge podge of stuff that is tossed into a blog. So random.

I will sit here and make up a calendar that will be the outlet that designs what I will do for my GRE. My GRE will allow me to go to graduate school in the fall to pursue my MBA. It's to better my life. To succeed, to advance. To make something. That's it. To be ... at least something. That's all we really want. Don't we all?

Skin: [CIA] Sofia Skin Natural - Red Lips (With Love Hunt)

Make-Up: [Misc. Inc.] I Love Line - Kindness 2

Hair: >TRUTH< BabyDoll 2 - Burgundy

Ears: :[P]: Lionheart Elven Ear - Myth

Sweater: [SAKIDE] Cashmere Pull White 1

Skirt: ::C'est la vie !:: retro print dress (League of Christmas Hunt)

Warmers: *BOOM* Arm Warmers - Christmas Edition *MESH* (League of Christmas Hunt)

Scarf: MALT - Green Scarf (KittyCat Advant 2011)

Socks: Modd.G = Trix Sheer Socks Green

Shoes: *G Field* Strap Shoes - Alex - Red

Mouth: :[P]: Omnom Holly-Double

Pose: GLITTERATI

Location: Three Moon Village
Listening: Michael Buble "Santa Baby"