#39 ~ I dropped him in a sea of knowing...

The Real

When I think about writing, I think that sometimes I try too hard. That when I put words to paper - or otherwise words to the computer, that I'm pushing toward something that I shouldn't push on. Maybe it's a bit too over zealous or a bit too over the top.

Looking back on prior works, those bits of poetry, prose and stories, I was in a spot that was overly emotional, tending to lean toward the more 'pity me' parts then anything. Some - although erotic in writ, spoke to me of nothing more than a woman crying on her pillow each night. Years later, those words still seem a bit strained, but they're just words aren't they?

I dropped him in a sea of knowing

Allowing him to gasp for air…

He struggled within my waves, drowning

In my knowledge that he couldn’t see

Nor hear, taste…

His mouth filling with tears as I watched the waves take him

Further from me, never letting

His legs, struggling to keep him afloat

Pumped like pistons only to be caught

As I dived in and held on,

Dragging him further underneath

Not letting him know

That I knew…

2007 (S.O.A.)

#31 ~ Good

Writings (from 2009)


When I thought maybe for sure that things would turn around, Bad things would happen, which would mean Good would have been just around the corner. I waited for it, a bit impatiently like all things I do and when Good came around the corner, I snatched it up, holding close to my chest, feeling it squiggly for release. I wasn’t going to let go.

But I would have to let go of Good in order to let it flourish, so I did. I watched it sit there, blink its eyes at me and speak in gargled noises that it was going to do fine. See! Everything will be okay. Such relief. For once – life would be on track. So, I let Good go on its way to do its deed. And I waited…and waited…

Good came hopping back – showing me its treasures that it had found on its hunt to make the most of a happy life. Here! , it squeaked. Take! Memories of laughter, music for lovers, good food, a sprinkle of friends. Here! An opportunity to advance, to make better. Move on…Good giggled in response.

Yet, in my impatient haste I stumbled. I dropped Good’s presents into the dirt, letting them fester in the muck of disdain and sorrow. I watched the millions of arms grab hold of Good’s gift and suck the light from its soul. I could do nothing but allow the sweet stench of misery to begin its hover toward me. Good only blinked, gargled nonsense, hop to and fro. I reached for Good, hoping it would see my need, my desires, but Good hopped further back, finally turning around and disappearing down the hole.

I followed, finally bending down to look inside the undergrowth he had slipped through. What I saw would amaze me…I saw only…myself.

#14 ~ She only comes out at night...

The Real
A while ago - that is, a few years back, I used to write a lot. When I would write, it would be mostly poetry. Maybe a few words of prose, a couple short stories, and now and then a keepsake of memories laid out on a notebook to which words would tumble out in such a way that they would sound like whimsical music to the ears.

Even now, those words tremble like tiny notes in the breeze.

Then I stopped writing.

I'm not sure why I did. But when I stopped, I had no outlet. For a while I couldn't decide what to do with myself. Then while I was thinking and doing my own thing I came upon role-playing in Second Life. Within role-playing I was able to story tell. I was able to capture a story and tell it through my eyes.

But it also went beyond. I could create a character.

Those characters...could be anyone...and because they could be anyone, it allowed me to be open with myself and do things that would be unspeakable. To get down and dirty: sex, drugs, and rock & roll. That's what role-play is about - story telling. Whether you are doing it within a post apoc sim, a gorean sim, a steampunk sim, or a dirty urban city sim - it's story telling.

It keeps my fingers nimble and my mind creative.

The Paradise
We are moving along. Slowly but surely, Paradise Lost is gradually getting people and stories. It's taking it's time but we're getting people.

The Fashion
The Season's Gatcha - Winter has opened up. I themed some of my things around an idea of what someone in my sim would wear...a girl caught on her way back to the flophouse in the early morning after a night of work...

Skin: al vulo - frida *passion tan *Group Gift*

Shape: My own

Make-Up: [mock] Darkened  Mood Garnets Makeover

Hair: Tiny Bird - Love You More - Deep Warm Black (FLF)

Eyes: .ID. December Group Gift / Brown

Eyelashes: Mynerva

Shirt: Lark - Enten Shirt - Pirouzeh (Seasons Gatcha Winter)

Skirt: R.icielli - ANTO II highwaisted skirt / cherry *Winter Hunt*

Shoes: Ingenue ::Abrial Boot:: French Vanilla (Seasons Gatcha Winter)

Earrings: [ glow ] studio - Huge pearl Drop earrings (russet silver) (Seasons Gatcha Winter)

Ring: PIDIDDLE - Gawdy Ring - Citrine (Seasons Gatcha Winter)

Bag: Tee*fy Mini Crossbody Bag (Used Leather Red) (Seasons Gatcha Winter)

Pose: GLITERRATI

Location: Cassava Island

Listening: Hall and Oates "Maneater"